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It often customary for the body of the deceased
to remain at the funeral parlor several days before the funeral with
hours set for visitation or a "viewing." Visitors may come and express
their condolences to the family and are welcome to stay and visit for
the full viewing period, although not required.
The funeral may be either private for family
members only or open to the public. If the hours and location are
printed in the newspaper notice, it is a sign that all visitors are
welcome.
In some areas and among some ethnic groups it is customary to host a
gathering after the funeral for attendees. If held at the home of the
family of the deceased, very often relatives and friends will supply
the refreshments to relieve the family of that task. In some families,
it is traditional to take attendees to a restaurant after the funeral,
in which case, the family of the deceased pays the bill.
The purpose of these gatherings is to share memories of the deceased,
help the family deal with their mourning, and provide hospitality for
those who may have traveled a distance to attend the funeral. At
times, these gatherings may become very lively and seem disrespectful
to the deceased. However, no disrespect is intended.
Any of the following gestures of sympathy are appropriate: sending a
note of condolence if you cannot attend the viewing; sending a mass
card which can be obtained at a Catholic church or sometimes the
funeral home; sending flowers to the home of the bereaved family or to
the funeral parlor; sending a donation to a charity selected by the
family. As in most religions, offers to help the family, including
bringing meals to their home immediately following the death and for a
time after the funeral, are welcome gestures of support and sympathy.
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